FREE KATIE HOLMES

I have no idea why the world cares so much about Katie Holmes except that she is hot. They're even made t-shirts and stuff :

http://www.cafepress.com/mccam/628896

Why all this uproar now? I mean Tom Cruise was married to Nicole Kidman for a pretty long time, right. Probably cause Mr Cuise has finally showed the world that he is insane. Maybe he's too giddy that he has a gf that can pass of as a schoolgirl. Maybe if I could do Katie Holmes every night I would be jumping up and down Oprah's sofa. Who knows.

Maybe he has a fetish for Batman's girlfriends? After all Nicole Kidman was in the god awful Batman Forever and Katie Holmes is probably the only woman every to bitch-slap Batman and get away with it?

Nevertheless the world believes that Ms Holmes is not a raving lunatic so there is no way she would believe in a religion started by a sci-fi writer. I mean, this is a religion that says some alien named Xenu has infested us human or thetans as the scientologists call them with invisible spirits depriving us of our 'god-like' powers.

Christians blame the bad stuff on the devil and scientologists blame it on aliens. I wonder which is more plausible. I wonder whether scientologists do exorcisms. Maybe Katie has been possessed by alien using her to infiltrate scientology and sabotage mankind's final defence against aliens!

Scientologists believe that we have past lives and scientology can get back the 'recording' of our past lives. For more info on scientology check out: http://www.xenu.net/index.html

Actually Xenu died something like 10 years ago. Yup, his race of aliense was defeated by another race called the Zerg. The Zerg had a collective consciousness called the 'overmind' so Xenu was not able to infect them. The Zerg wanted Xenu's technology to use in their war against the Protoss and they don't give shit about planet earth.

Since the threat to humankind has been defeated, there is nothing for scientology to protect us from. Actually, I just got an email from lord Tassadar of the Protoss telling me that the Zerg are going to infiltrate human society. The sign of a Zerg possessed human is a grey haired old guy who can't even speak coherant english and likes to wage war on other countries in the name or 'freedom' and 'democracy'. After the Zerg have conquered a country, installed their puppet ruler and gotten control of their oil pipes, they just leave it even with warlords still fighting and 'demoracry' inexistant. 'cough' Afghanistan 'cough'

To combat the Zerg, I am going to start Michaelogy which will prevent the Zerg from taking over our bodies. Tassadar tells me that as long as we drink Coke and smoke a packet of Marlboro/Dunhill reds a day, the Zerg cannot enter our bodies. So remember boys and girls, coke and a packet a day, keep the evil zerg away! And you don't even need to give me any money to a Michaelogist!