Monday, February 26, 2007

Jmovie review: Warau Michael

Euno Juri, one of the most promising young actresses. An all girl high school on an island. A lolicon nun. Super powers and martial arts. There's no fucking way they could mess this movie up right? Once again, Japanese cinema has taken good concepts and managed to make a mess of it.

I demand more nuns in jmovies and jdoramas.

I'm not familiar with the manga/anime this movie is base on. Basically its a mahou shoujo type story right down to the cliches. I can live with that. The movie is definitely not aimed at me. What I cannot stand is the shoddy CG and horrible action. (One would think that watching so many Japanese movies I would be wiser)

I want to be a teacher at an all-girls school when I grow up

Basically the whole movie was shot on greenscreen. Even simple backgrounds. I suppose this is to give the movie a 'fantasy' feel. On the other hand, a lot of times the CG looks so crap that it distracts from the actual movie. Especially that ending battle which had some of the worst CG ever. I've seen better graphics on my Saturn.

Can you say cosplay?

Storyline wise, its cliche riddled with more cliches, which I don't really mind. I was looking forward to the action. Sadly, sentai shows have better action. Basically the stuntmen are just throwing themselves around. Its like watching the fight scene in Morning Cop. (ugh, how did I remember that movie)

A most disappointing bunch of villians. I was hoping for a leather nun outfit at least.

The worst sin of this movie is the lolicon nun subplot. When she kidnapped the hime, I was eagerly expecting a scene involving leather nun outfit, handcuffs and maybe whips. Maybe they'll include that in the DVD. Avoid, unless you're a 10 year old girl. In which case, you shouldn't be reading this blog.

Euno Juri looking to kick her manager's arse for making her do this film.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

OMG! Ryu Ga Gotoku movie!

I love Yakuza aka Ryu Ga Gotoku, a Shenmue lite game brawler for PS2. Speaking of ShenMue, Where the fuck is Shenmue 3? I would spend aud$1k for a PS3 right now just to play the freaking game. I hope Yu Suzuki is working on it right now instead of that crappy Shenmue online thing that was announced ages ago.

Love this shot, really looks like the game. And they have to include the best line from Yakuza into the movie.

Haruka: Uncle Kazuma, what's a soapland?

Besides the fact that Yakuza is the closest thing to Shenmue 3 I can get, its also the game that older gamers want. Kick arse action and violence, good story, lots of mature content and fun gameplay. When I was playing the game I was wondering how they would make it a jdorama and dream casting (hehe) the characters.

FFS, Kazuma doesn't use guns. He uses knives, billboards, swords, knuckle brass and Kendo sticks. The only time he used a gun was in the car chase scene.

To my surprise, a Ryu Ga Gotoku movie is already out! And its produced by Takashi Miike. And imdb search reveals that its only a 43 minute short. I'm not confident with the casting though. Kitamura Kazuki just doesn't have the tough guy look. Plus he's always been playing weird characters and he just doesn't have the voice.

Wheee, Saeko's in the show. Somehow I doubt she's playing the stripper GF of the host.

If casting based on looks, the guy who looks most like Kazuma is Fukami Motoki, Enzo's friend from Hotman. All he has to do is bulk up, sneer a bit more and don't smile. Plus, he's got the height. Kazuma has to bloody look like he can beat up a room full of ppl.

Wipe that smile of his face and he'll look like Kazuma Kiryu.

Haruka: Uncle Kazuma, you have messages from Reika, Chisa and Hiromi.

Kazuma: eerr, those are messages for help. I'm a yakuza, I help cabaret girls.

Its interesting that they've cast the Nanisama guy as Majima. That character reminds me of Gary Oldman's character in the professional. Hhmm, another story involving a tough guy and little girl. Anyways, I just hope I'll run into a torrent for the short one of these days. The one thing that'll make me happier is if Sega announces that Yakuza 2 will be subbed and not dubbed.

All pictures were stolen without permission from gamebrink.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Himitsu no Hanazono ep 1-4

Probably the best show this season, which isn't saying anything considering the quality of shows. I'd have to say it more to do with the strength of the concept rather than the execution. HnH tells the story of Tsukiyama who a former fashion magazine writer turned shoujo manga editor. The catch of the show is that the mangaka she is in charge of, Hanazono Yuriko is really 4 brothers.

Can u say Bukkake? Whatever happens, at least she's got a career in JAV.

Basically this is a harem dorama for women. You have 4 bros with different personalities, blah blah. I've got no problem with that. What I have a problem with is that poofter youngest brother. His acting is as atrocious as Goto Maki's. I'm so sick of bishonen who should be ashamed of calling themselves men showing up in jdoramas. Yeah, I know girls dig guys who look like chicks but ffs if this keeps up, the next generation of Japanese boys will grow up thinking Gackt and Tsunku are role models.

WTF, you're only a B cup? The minimum size for middle ages tavern wench clothing is C cup!

Anyway another aspect of the show that they could have bloody played around with more is the manga part. Basically the manga stuff takes a backseat to Tsukiyama's relationship with the bros. There's so much otaku stuff that they can tap. Put shoujo manga cliches into the show, etc etc. I just feel that there's too much potential with the story that's being wasted. 4 bros is too much. They should have gotten rid of the poof. I'd certainly speed up the story.

Another series about a manga author is Egao no Hosoku which is a very pedestrian series except that they way it was set up, one couldn't expect much more. HnH has so much fucking potential its not funny.

I'd love to do stuff like this, which is probably why I'll never be in management...

OK, it got better in ep 4. I think the revelation of the 'butler' as the Editor's old flame is funny and they should play it as corny as possible. Story is speeding up so maybe the series will switch into 5th gear all the way to the end.

If you're thinking she looks familiar, she's Matsuoka Rinako, one of the violin girls from Nodame. As hot as she is too bad her part sucks.

Its interesting to see another show featuring a long time supporting actress. Most fans will remember Yumiko Shaku as the teacher from Stand Up and as the main chick from Princess Blade. I must say, unlike Konishi Manami, I don't see potential for her. Its not that she's bad but just that she doesn't stand out.

Oh yeah, I gave Kira Kira kensui another try and tried to watch ep 3. The key word is tried. Sigh. I think I'll just play Ryuga no Gotoku 2 and wait for next season.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Byakuyakou ep 7

Finally the series has turned a corner after the slowness of the past few eps. I attribute it to Ayase Haruka to finally finding her 'voice' as Yukiho. This is the first time in the series that I'm able to link her character with Fukuda Mayuko's incredible acting in ep 1.

I would attribute this change to two scenes. First the scene where she smiles at Sasagaki and the rooftop scene at the end. Maybe its the writing or that she has finally found her groove. It echoes the characters in the show where in the end they come to grips with their situation and set on their respective paths.

Storyline wise, the story is finally moving. Perhaps is the excitement of seeing the beginning of the end? Nevertheless, the players in the game have moved to new positions and some other characters may have a say in what happens. Yukiho finally gets married to a rich guy and Ryouji finally gets office manager type job. I think this has sort off added an element of danger to the story. They have more to lose now and will have to question how much weight their past has on their future.

I think the main problem with the series so far is that the episodes don't stand alone well enough and SARS sporadic releases kinda spoils the flow. Still, its a pretty good show (especially compared with the shows this season) and I have a feeling that its going to get better during the home stretch.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Kira Kira Kenshui ep 1+ 2

Don't u think she looks like Tanaka Rena?

I really wanted to like this show. This is Konishi Manami's first shot at being a leading actress. She's done her time as a supporting actress and she's clearly a better actress than most of them out there. Hotman 2 really sucked without her. I was looking to see her being more than just eye candy.

Yes, I'm shocked that this show is so unfunny

Unfortunately within the 1st five minutes, I could tell this show was really crap. They're trying too freaking hard to make it funny that its not and becomes fucking unbearable. I've gotta say, this is the first jdorama where the humour completely falls flat on its face. Its as if the jokes were written for 5 year old girls or something. The only funny thing is the doctor who walks around like a yakuza. They could have at least milked it with him having junior doctors as underlings and extorting money from patients and stuff. They could have had fights for territory (patients). Fucking TBS should hire me to save the show.

Secondly the story is really crap. Konishi Manami plays an intern. The thing is, her 'problems' are so trivial and insignificant that you don't give a fuck. Like working when you're sick or tying a fucking string. OK, its not that insignificant but just the way they present it makes it so lame. This show makes Nurse Aoi look like a classic.

With the bad stuff out of the way, lets talk Konishi Manami. Fuck, she is even hotter than before. Somehow her shorter haircut makes her look even younger. And the shorter hair sorta emphasises her eyes more. I'd just be happy if only the show was barely watchable.

The only cute nurse on the show, unfortunately. Jdoramas should stop trying to cast realistic looking nurses and cast more JAV types.

Acting wise, she's decent. She's basically doing her best impersonation of the Fukada Kyoko kawaii but donkan type girl. IMO, she does it better but its hard to separate the acting from how crap the show is. Sigh. I just hope this doesn't prevent her being being the leading lady again. In summary avoid. I'm torn between dropping it and somehow praying that the series will at least find its legs soon. Maybe I should treat the show as a Konishi Manami gravure vid....

Kawaii!!!!!!! Can't believe she's bloody older than me.