Thursday, October 07, 2010

Indon movie review: Menculik Miyabi

Kamu harus datang ke rumah gua!

 You might have heard this news last year where the religious right wingers in Indonesia were making a lot of noise about JAV star Maria Ozawa, also known as Miyabi shooting a movie there. What better way to advertise a movie than having religious loons telling people not to watch it? If you've not heard of Maria Ozawa, don't fret because you're not missing much. She is this half Japanese, half French-Canadian JAV actress who is hot enough to be one of those models in the magazines or a really successful gravure idol.

 She's obviously comfortable in this pose.

Unfortunately, she cannot freaking act. Despite her popularity, IMHO her JAVs are boring and I just cannot understand her fame. Granted JAV acting is not real acting but she can't even fucking fake it well. She's good for titillation cameos in Tadano Hitoshi but her acting is probably worse than Fukada Kyoko which is about as low as you can get. As a friend of mine astutely observed, thank the powers that be that she is not a jdorama actress! Even the waking up scene in the beginning of Menculik Miyabi is horribly fake beyond human comprehension. Did the director not have the balls to tell her to redo the scene until she can a half realistic waking up from sleep scene?

The name of the movie translates to kidnapping Miyabi which sounds very exciting except this bunch of dudes end up kidnapping this Chinese girl who they mistook for Miyabi and who's name is Mie Yao Bi. Yes, ladies and gentlemen the plot of the movie is lamer than it sounds. Add in some cliched teen girlfriend plot and there you have it. Maria Ozawa just has a few minor scenes of her talking on the phone and the final scene at the end where she meets the main characters.

Its like someone wrote this lame teen romance script that no one in their right mind would shoot and then somehow managed to rope in a B level celebrity with a recognisable name and named the movie after her despite her hardly being in the movie at all. This is going to be the last Indonesian movie I ever watch, except for maybe Merantau which I heard decent things about but is not high on my priority list. Avoid this movie unless you want to know what Maria Ozawa looks like with her clothes on.

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