Thursday, June 23, 2005

Problems with Batman Begins

I love Batman Begins. Makes all 4 Batman movies look even worse. Some of the things in the movie they did really well but there are a few nitpicks that I can't get out of my brain.

1) WTF did Bruce Wayne blow up the bad guys' base if he wanted to save the condemned prisoner? I mean, it probably hurts more to be buried under tons of debris than to have one's head chopped off. How many ninjas did Bruce actually kill? They gave him free ninja tuition and this is how he repays them?

2) Why did he have to bring the bat-tank-mobile along? There's so many better ways to bring Katie Holmes back to the cave for some uuh.... nocturnal activities. He could have went across a few rooftops and got into a normal car and not have the police chasing him. He could have gone ninja turtle, gone into the sewers and got up somewhere else n took a getaway car. I mean he's freaking Batman. He's suppose to operate in the shadows, like how Ra's taught him.

But no....... he had to show off his batmobile and endanger the lives of the innocent policemen doing their jobs. Can't really blame him for wanting to use the batankmobile just to hit stuff.

Not to mention I'm pretty sure the police can look around and see that the tire tracks lead somewhere to wayne manor. I mean police are not stupid. This isn't the dadadadadadadadadadada........ Batman of Adam West police.

3) Human bodies are made 70% of water or something like that. Dunno the exact figure cause I hate bio. Anyway the super weapon in the end would have killed off everyone. I mean it got the water pipes the burst. Ppl in Gotham should have blood coming out of every orifice in their body. (Not that I want to see it)

One potential explanation is that the weapon only points downwards ie that's why it was on the train line so it could 'attack' the pipe lines below it. But what good is it as a weapon if it can only point downward. The movie could have explained it a lot better.

Anyways, on to wishlist for Batman 2. WB sign up Nolan and Goyer now! Dun wait 1 year like Fox did with Singer for X3.

1. No Robin. Robin is gay. If you want to add Robin, make it in part 3 and make her a girl. Seriously, rich playboy who lives in a secluded mansion with only a butler taking in a young boy. They could make a movie where Bruce gets prosecuted like Michael Jackson.

2. Bring back Katie Holmes. Ppl blast her acting online but seriously, she's probably the only girl to get away with bitch slapping Batman. I'm sick of movie where every movie there's a different chick. Batman changing chicks every movie either means he ony likes tight pussies or he sucks in bed.

3. No Bat plane, bat boat or anything that screams ' we need to sell more toys'! That's what I was thinking when watching the batankmobile scene. Batman's greatest asset is his mind. Toys are just for impressing chicks.

4. Lots more of Gordon. The Gordon story in year 1 was great. (If you haven't read Batman: year one, go to your local comic shop n get it. It soooooooo good.) The baseball bat scene, the Essen affair. Gordan is the everyman trying to do good and sometimes failing. Dun make him a supporting character who's only purpose in the end is an ID4 moment.

5. Really dark and scary joker. Steal from 'The Last Joke' if you have to. Just no Jack Nicholson non menacing Joker. Just rewatched the first Batman. Really, what's so menacing about Joker. Have him cut the sides of his mouth like the guy in 'Ichi the killer' so he has a wider smile. Joker has to be really creepy and give kids nightmares! Gwahahahahaha!

6. No batnipples, no batgirl and no henchmen in skates and big name actors giving super campy performances. (I'm looking at you Joel Schumacher)

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