Saturday, June 25, 2005

Crying Fist, Korean Films and Fuck Hollywood

The pic above has nothing to do with Korean films. The fine arse belongs to Alizee, a French singer famous for her song 'Lolita'. I put her there cause the view is very hypnotic.

Just finished watching Jumeogi Unda aka Crying Fist. Really good korean movie about boxing. Its about two boxers who meet up in the end to fight for the Light Heavyweight championship. The only thing lacking is an epilogue cause they really fleshed out the characters. Its wrestling terms its a face vs face match. Except in wrestling, winning is not as important having a great match. Oh Daesu from the incredible Old Boy is really good in this one.

Came back from bball and straight away fell asleep. Missed my SC appointment, ccb. Sigh.

Korean films are pretty good. The best films aren't the romance films but their serious films. The romance films are too typical and they all seem the same. Blame it all on 'My Sassy Girl'. In fact lots of Korean romance films are derivatives of my Sassy Girl.

- Bitchy girl who suddenly turns sweet when she reliases she likes the guy, but not before bullying him for most of the movie

- Sissy guy who gets bullied by the girl and takes it like a sissy.

- Girl running to meet guy in slow motion accompanied by music. Too bad no Korean actress has really big jugs so we can get the 'Baywatch-effect'.

- Puking. God, I hate puking in movies, especially since I'm always eating something when watching.

- Tons of crying. Actually I think crying is like a national pastime in Korea. I know Japanese like to see cute girl crying with a crying reality show (I'll write about it next time) and Momusu graduation concerts and specials but some Korean movies are just about the girl crying from beginning to the end. Kdramas are worse, which is why I don't watch Kdramas at all.

In fact I think the most important skill a Korean actress should have is cying. Crying when the guy she has a crush on starts dating her best friend. Crying when the guy confesses. Crying when she finds out they are actually brother and sister. Crying when she find out the guy has some uncurable disease. Crying when she receives a present. Crying is a girl's greatest weapon against guys. We have no defenses against it and end up making stupid promises and not thinking clearly.

The plotlines in Korean movies/dramas are just to get more tears. Its like the actress is looking at the audience and going 'look I'm crying, its really sad, so all the girls watching should cry along with me'. I think its great for Korean guys cause it makes it easier for them to score after taking their gfs to the movies - 'You must be tired from all that crying. Oh look, there's a love hotel here. Let's go in to rest and uh fix up your layers of makeup.'

Since I'm watching by my lonesome I find excessive crying very boring and takes away my empathy for the character. Maybe I'm just to cynical. Still, Korean movies in general are pretty good and definitely much better than HK movies. (Good idea for a rant)

Recommended Korean movies:

1) Old Boy - best revenge movie ever. It will stay on your mind for at least a week after watching it.

2) Samaria - Really good movie about teenage prostitution.

3) My Wife is a gangster - The best movie in the gangster/comedy genre.

4) A moment to remember - A bit unrealistic at the end but really good directing and acting. To say more will spoil it.

5) My Sassy Girl - One of the best endings ever. The first half is hard to sit through. Lots of hidden/implied stuff in the movie and if I had picked them I would have enjoyed it better. I only got the whole story on the second try.

Oh yeah, fuck hollywood and their constant remaking of Japanese/Korean movies. They are making really good movies and you bastards just want to steal from them. Damn Miramax for licensing so many movies and not releasing them are releasing them after years. Damn you for cutting 15 minutes of the japanese 'Shall We Dance' DVD. You absolutely have no fucking respect for one of the best movies ever. And fucking remaking it with Richard Gere and JLo? You absolutely have no fucking idea why the movie works.

Its because its a salaryman movie. Because its set in a conservative culture where the ideal life is to slave away in the office, go karaoke and go home late everyday and have no life. Because its set in a conservative culture where things are not expressed but implied.

Fuck you Miramax for releasing Hero only after Quinten Tarantino pressured you. Even ten putting a 'Quinten Tarantino presents' in the front. What did he have to do with the making of the fucking movie. Fucking no respect for Asian cinema.

Damn you Jennifer Garner for wanting to remake 'Ima Ai ni Yukimasu'. If you liked it so much why don't you fucking release it in the fucking states. You can't even hold a candle to Takeuchi Yuko. Plus Orange Range's Hana is the fucking bomb.

Fuck Disney for licensing Miyazaki's films and releasing them without marketing and in limited cinemas. Just because you suck doesn't mean that you can prevent other companies from releasing great animation to the rest of the world. You too scared for people to realise that Japan makes the best animated movies not just for kids but for teens/adults as well?

Fuck whoever remade Dark Water. Jennifer Connelly is a good actress but Kuroki Hitomi is the hottest MILF in the world.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hahaha truth be told..i fell upon your blog whilst searching for yama onna kabe onna. thanks for the enlightening reviews