Jmovie review: The Machine Girl

Probably my most anticipated movie this year. Japan makes horrible action movies/jdoramas with some yakuza and samurai movies being the exception. I'm not asking for Bourne but something simple, coherent and doesn't look like a sentai show. However, they make excellent B movie gore cum action movies. If you've never seen Ichi the Killer or Versus, look them up now! While these movies lack in decent script and adrenaline factor, they make up for it by being so bad, they're actually good.

Don't be fooled her cleavage! She's a ninja yakuza mom of a high schooler!

If you've never seen these types of movies, I'd be hesitant to recommend Machine Girl. Watching movies like these is like watching a midnight dorama. You know its going to be bad so you have to turn off your brain and have fun watching it. You could say they're more akin to exploitation movies. Films that rely on content that you don't see in mainstream films.

Yashiro Minase looking cool and sexy. :)

Here she's looking kawaii, Hhhmm, doesn't she look like Matsu Takako?

So what's Machine Girl about? Its about a schoolgirl with a machine gun attached to her left arm. If the idea of schoolgirl + machine gun doesn't excite you, how about yakuza ninjas and lots and lots of blood? Did I mention the gore? Don't watch this movie when you are eating. Alcohol will probably improve your enjoyment though.

Somehow, I don't think those men holding her hands are teachers. :)

The main actress is Yashiro Minase, a gravure idol who I will definitely fill my HD with pictures of. I think I fell in love while taking all the screencaps. She plays Ami Hyuga, the title character who's brother is killed by the heir of a ninja yakuza clan. She tries to seek revenge but her left arms gets chopped off and later is fitted with a machine gun. IMO she's pretty good in the role. She's got screen presence and plays her role seriously (unlike Horitaki Maki in Teppan Shoujo). The important thing is no matter how stupid the scene or line was, she said it with conviction.

I wouldn't want to mess with these two...

The action scenes are pretty decent. Usually when you have chicks in action movies *cough* Azumi *cough*, the action usually gets pretty lame cause its hard for girls to look convincing punching, kicking or slashing a sword. Directors will try to overcome that by trying to get the actress to do a lot of cool poses and use a lot of stunt doubles, ie lots of cutting which in my book is a no-no.


Ouch, that's an expensive price to pay to be in a room with two hot chicks.

On a side note, I can't believe how much editing there are in Jet Li's American movies. The longer the shot, the more impact an action scene is. After all, action scenes are a story onto themselves and the audience's ability to follow the 'story' of a fight or car chase in integral to the enjoyment of the scene. End rant.

Ami + Miki = hot!

Basically what I am saying is that Minase Yashiro looks good. It helps that Asami, who plays Miki, Ami's partner in vengeance actually looks tough. I can't believe that she that she is actually a JAV actress!!!! Take a look at her picture here. She looks so sweet and innocent and yet in the movie she's so kick-ass. Their fight scenes are so hilarious yet cool though Ami fighting bare handed with one arm can look a bit weird. She's punching without a left hand to defend. It would probably make more sense (and more upskirt shots) if she used more kicks. Hhhmm. Idea for sequel? :)

Pantsu mita!!!!!!

Another barely seen pantsu shot!

There's no need for me to pull this movie apart and attempt to deconstruct it. Bottom line is, I had a hell of a time watching it. Its an exploitation movie. Its a movie for people with acquired taste. And if my screencaps don't make you salivate, nothing will.

I wish she were waiting for me like that at home, minus the kodachi of course.