Monday, March 28, 2011
The following conversation most probably took place at the HQ of Fuji TV sometime last year.
Fuji TV writer: I've got a great script for new TV series for Takenouchi Yutaka and Ueto Aya. Its going to be about a simple dude with a dark secret meets prostitute. Yutaka's sister needs an organ transplant and he goes into an fake marriage with Aya's character so she can donate since Japanese laws only allow anonymous donors or family members. We're going to have this interesting parallel with Aya selling herself and then moving to selling her organ.
Ueto Aya's manager: WTF have you been smoking?! We cannot tarnish her pure and innocent image! The most she will do is massages! Surely there are pure massage places in Japan that don't provide happy endings!
Writer: But they only exist in Akiba! What use is making her character a prostitute if we don't explore it!
Aya's manager: I don't care! I am the defender of Aya's purity and innocence!
Writer: (mumbling) That's why she always looks like an 18 year old girl pretending to be a grown up in doramas!
Aya's manager: What did you say?!
Dorama boss: I said Snakes and Earrings never did Yoshitaka Yuriko's career any harm. She was naked and even did multiple S&M sex scenes! Isn't it time to stop protecting her and see if she can take on more than just two dimensional nice girl roles?
Aya's manager: Aya will never be a slut like that Yuriko! I knew she was a slut from the moment I saw her in Kita Yoshio! Aya is as pure as a mahou shoujo! Ok, the most I can let you do is to make her reveal her belly. You happy now you sick writer! (mumbling) If I could I would lock her up in my basement so that she can never be soiled by evil men.
Inagaki Goro's manager: I'm reading the script and it says Goro will play this evil brother who is very possessive and manipulative of his sister. It is against SMAP's image to play pure evil characters and I demand a redemption storyline for him at the end!
Writer: This would not make sense because he is an evil person! I mean he lets his sister prostitute herself to pay off his debts! Think of the strong emotional scenes we can mine from this!
Aya's manager: I demand no mention of Aya being a prostitute after the first two episodes! I refuse to have Aya screaming at Goro saying, "I sold myself for you for a year and you never say anything. And now I want to sell an organ to pay off your debts and you want to stop me?!" Its too heavy for the Japanese audience and such dirty words will never come out of Aya's innocent mouth!
Goro's manager: I agree! Yutaka should not have a dark secret and lets make him a boring nice guy so we can have more screen time for Goro. And I refuse to allow Goro to look and act like a bum. This is against the SMAP image. All SMAP appearances in doramas must be in clothes that cost more than a mobile phone and they must have half a jar of hair products in their hair. All SMAP characters must be suave ladies men.
Writer: Its important that Goro act and look like a despicable bum! The audience has to hate him and if his more of swindler than he's just an irritating character! We need to show that Aya's life is so fucked up and that Yutaka is the only one who can stop her self hate and cycle of self destruction! It is essential for audience empathy and to create tension!
Aya's manager: Weren't you listening you idiot? Its against the SMAP rules and Aya rules. Why don't you just write a dorama where everyone becomes stronger and becomes friends with each other in the end without all this tension and conflict.
Goro's manager: I want you to get rid of the mass media finding out Aya is a prostitute in the script and instead of Goro trying to make money by selling his sister, I want you to make some story about him trying to protect her and don't give me that it doesn't make sense nonsense. Bloody Monday didn't make sense and the mindless fangirls loved it! And make Goro sleep with a nurse so that we can counteract all those rumours about johnnys.
Writer: I'm going to Wowow.