Lumberjack the Monster / Kaibutsu no Kikori jmovie review

 

Who doesn't like serial killer movies? It is a topic that is always fascinating because what sort of human would be compelled to commit multiple crimes for no other reason than to satisfy their own ego? Alas, when I think of serial killer in Japanese movies, I think about how bad Kurosawa Kiyoshi's Creepy was or Oguri Shun's museum. I cannot, off the top of my head think of a good serial killer jmovie.

Which brings me to Miike Takashi's Lumberjack the Monster which is on Netflix. One of Japan's most talented directors, he has made really good movies like Sun Scarred, Audition, Zebraman and Gyakuten Saiban but also horrible movies like Ai to Makoto, Yakuza Apocalypse and Mole Song?

Lumberjack the Monster starts with the police raiding a scary house a long time ago where a woman has kidnapped a lot of kids to cut open their heads. The woman is kills herself and we fast forward to the present, we meet Kame who is playing a lawyer who is actually a serial killer who has no ability to feel guilt or apathy. 

Kame is partner in crime with another serial killer, this time a doctor played by Sometani Shota. One day Kame is ambushed by a person in the lumberjack mask and survives and is injured in his head and discovers that he has a chip in his brain from when he was a child.

Lumberjack the Monster is Miike Takashi at his most restrained. I have always argued that he has great technical skills and works best when he is constrained by the script and story like Sun Scarred instead of when he gets to do whatever he wants like Ryu ga Gotoku.

The violence in Lumberjack is surprisingly restrained when you consider this is the director who did Audition and Ichi the Killer but I argue that less is more and building the tension and suspense is better when less is shown.

I enjoyed the story because it posses the question, if psychopaths exist because they have a deformity in their brain that does not allow them to have guilt and apathy and this can be artificially created, then how much responsibility to psychopaths have for their actions?

The only thing I don't like is Nanao as the profiler police officer chasing Kame. She is just wrong for the role but she is not that crucial so I didn't mind. I am just happy that Miike has done a decent movie and I rather enjoyed it. Watchable.

The Queen of Villains / Gokuaku Joou Episode 1~4

 

I probably spend too much of my time watching Japanese wrestling, also known as puroresu. Puroresu or in my case NJPW is the anti-American wrestling. Stories are told in the ring, no stupid promos that last forever and ever good quality matches because people who are good in the ring get pushed. Other promotions such as NOAH and AJPW somehow appear on my youtube for some reason. I went to my first NJPW event last year by sheer luck because they were having a show close to the person I was visiting.

There is also women's wrestling in Japan commonly known as joshi puroresu with the main company being Stardom which is owned by the same company that owns NJPW. The former owner Stardom Rossy Ogawa who built it up and sold it started his own company over a year ago called Marigold and I don't really follow joshi but matches turn up on my youtube as well.

I love wrestling and The Queen of Villains has been on my radar since it was announced last year and I finally got around to watching the first 4 episodes. The story is about this heel joshi wrestler in the 80s called Dump Matsumoto. Joshi puroresu in the 80s is very different from today. The wrestled in aerobics gear, sing songs before a match and according to The Queen of Villains, fought for real aka shoot unless told to lose by the booker. 

I love the Netflix money and the 80s setting. Karata Erika and Goriki Ayame try their best to look decent in the ring. Yuriyan Retriever who plays Dump Matsumoto does not have to do much bumping because she is basically the cheating heel but she plays Dump as this person who loves pro wrestling but was unable to find her niche until she went full heel against Karata Erika and Goriki Ayame.

I do have one problem with The Queen of Villains which made me stop watching after episode 4. This show does not break kayfabe which is wrestling speak for the story tells the audience that the fights are real. Except what I can see on the screen are people taking bumps after dropkicks etc. Nothing that remotely feels like a shootfight.

The Queen of Villains exists in a kayfabe world where they are telling the audience that the fights were shoots, but looked like of puroresu which is two wrestlers telling a story without injuring each other. If you want to do a kayfabe story, then you have to take out the bookers, the dorms and all the real life stuff and just be kayfabe all the way. 

I could not continue watching because The Queen of Villains exists in both kayfabe and real life and I cannot reconcile the two. I think I need to rewatch My Dad is a Heel Wrestler. I really wanted to like The Queen of Villains but I can't.

Somewhere in an alternate universe is an awesome no kayfabe Queen of Villains jdorama but this is not it. Meh.

Demon City movie review

In the world of Japanese action splatter B-movies, 3 movies come to mind: Kitamura Ryuhei's Versus, Machine Girl and Miike Takashi's Ichi the Killer. I have hardly seen any Japanese movies in this genre recently so I am happy that Netflix has financed Demon City.

Ikuta Toma is the super hitman Sakata who does one last job killing lots of people before leaving his life of crime to enjoy it with his family. Of course, Sakata's family home is invaded by a bunch of scary people in masks talking about a demon of Shinjo city and Sakata's wife and daughter are killed before his eyes before Sakata is shot.

Remarkably, Sakata survives as a vegetable for 12 years before he wakes up and goes and goes on a bloody revenge spree.

WHAT I LIKED

+ Good amount of splashing blood

+ Love the scary masks of the bad guys.

+ Love the world building of Shinjo city being controlled by this cabal of people in masks.

+ Sakata's trademark machete with rope is cool

+ There is a one shot stairs fight sequence that is very good

+ Surprised to see Takashima Masanobu in an action movie!

WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE

- Stupid fake CG blood. I would rather have no blood than fake CG blood.

- Not any memorable action scenes besides the one shot stairs sequence. 

- I liked Higashide Masahiro as the creepy bad guy but the fight was meh. The thing is, most of the guys in the masks turned up to be not so scary at all.

SUMMARY

I really want to like this movie but there is nothing that sticks in my memory. The building blocks are there but the action scenes are mostly meh. They are trying hard but something is missing. Meh.

Caster Episodes 1~3

Finally restarted my Netflix account. First show I tried watching was Caster just because it was an Abe Hiroshi show. The problem is I completely ignored the fact that it was a TBS show. Ok, Vivant did not suck which was a freaking miracle, Trillion Game was surprisingly fun and I really liked Warau Matroyshka. (Sidenote, why isn't Warau Matroyshka on Netflix?) 

Fact is, after years and years of watching jdoramas. There are certain qualities to TBS shows. 

1. They are really lit super with the power of a hundred suns so the actresses can show how smooth their faces are and sell whatever products they are promoting.

2. There will always be a scene in episode 1 where there is a huge venue and TBS likes to show off how they can get 100 extras to the venue.

3. The stories will start to stretch the limits of probability the longer you watch it. TBS shows will never be accused of being realistic. There is always a certain unrealism to them.

4. The story is written by committee for the lowest common denominator and tries way too freaking hard to be touching.

So did Caster get everything in the TBS Bingo card?

Caster is basically about news anchor Abe Hiroshi who is trying to figure out the truth behind certain events. Nagano Mei is the inexperience staff from variety who has been tasked with keeping Abe Hiroshi in check but Nagano Mei discovers that the first rule of journalism is to assume that everyone is lying.

The first episode about a big shot politician going to hospital was ok. The second episode was when alarm bells really started ringing for me. The story was about this betting site that had a 80% accurate prediction of the Japan men's volleyball team.

The first two episodes has Abe Hiroshi telling Nagano Mei to always get supporting evidence (uradori) and next thing you know, he has Nagono Mei randomly questioning a volleyball player about this random betting site. If a random betting site got 80% correct for dog racing over a few months, you going to accuse random dog for colluding? Get your supporting evidence first FFS!

Episode 3 was about the fakest lab growing some sort of revolutionary cell. The story was about data falsifying and for some reason the story came down to a random post it note which could have been forged anyway instead of experts looking through the records and checking the laboratory that looked more like a school science lab.

The ending of episode 3 was like some stupid kid's fairy tale trying to be touching but I just kept thinking how dumbed down they made this discovery that could change everything forever and they turned it into a footenote.

Caster is full of the bad things that TBS does and for some reason Abe Hiroshi keeps doing doramas with them and they are all shit, except for Dragon Zakura. The writing feels bad and there are way, too many leaps in logic. I have too many things to watch and do to waste my time on this and I suggest you do the same. Do not watch.

On an unrelated note, it is funny how Abe Hiroshi has a movie Showtime 7 which came out earlier this year with him playing another news anchor. That one is bomb threat terror show and hopefully it is better than Caster.

Louder!: Can't Hear What You're Singin', Wimp! jmovie review

 

Louder!: Can't Hear What You're Singin', Wimp! is a movie by Miki Satoshi. He is a so-so famous writer/director and the first thing of his I watched was Adrift in Tokyo which I don't remember anything about. 

My favourite Miki Satoshi work is Atami no Sousakan which was weird and interesting. I think his most famous work might be Ore Ore with Kame which I can never mustered enough motivation to watch. His latest movie is Convenience Story and I could not even get to the middle of the movie before quitting. I decided to give Louder!: Can't Hear What You're Singin', Wimp! a go because it has Abe Sadawo and Yoshioka Riho. Surely their combined acting prowess will make this a watchable movie right?

Abe Sadawo is metal singer called Sin who supposedly has this amazing voice because he doped his vocal cords but this is causing damage and he damages his vocal cords during a performance and spurts out enough blood to fill up a hospital blood bank. He runs into Fuka played by Yoshioka Riho, a timid singer who sings in a soft voice. Louder is a comedy about a singer past his prime meeting another singer who he helps realise her potential. Sounds great in concept but I don't get Miki Satoshi's execution.

It feels like Miki Satoshi is doing a poor version Love Exposure, two damaged people who need each other. Watching Louder!, I kept thinking this guy is doing Miike Takashi at his worst. Kind of like Mole Song or Yakuza Apocalypse. Random things just happening, whatever the director finds funny while I am looking at the screen bored out of my brains.

The housing area where Yoshioka Riho lives reminds me of Kisetsu no Nai Machi, super duper colourful and everyone a weirdo. The movie really lost me when it moved to South Korea and I did not give a crap about any of the characters.

Miki Satoshi is a director who just does weird stuff and actors seem to like appearing in his movies but nothing in this movie makes me think this director is great in framing this sequence or creating something funny. I am not watching any more Miki Satoshi movies anymore. Do not watch.

Lost Man Found / Hirowareta Otoko Eps 1~8

 

Lost Man Found is another Disney+ jdorama starring Nakano Taiga. This time he has former smap member Kusagangi Tsuyoshi and Higa Yui supporting him.

Lost Man Found is a story about supporting actor Matsuda Satoru. If you don't know who that is, he was the J-league fan in Densha Otoko. I would not say he was one of the most memorable supporting characters in Densha but I love stories about supporting actors like Tasogare Yusaku, Actor Kameoka Takuji, Samurai Time Slipper and of course Uzumasa Limelight though the last two are more about stuntmen but its the same thing.

Lost Man Found is the story about how a struggling actor got picked up by various people and slowly worked his way up the supporting actor food chain.

WHAT I LIKED

+ Arimura Kasumi cameo as herself. That got my undivided attention.

+ Igawa Haruka as herself. Matsuda Satoru was actually her driver and I love how the whole country pigeonholes her as this woman who heals Japan that she is not allowed to act any other way. I wished I was watching an Igawa Haruka dorama and loved everytime she was on the screen.

+ This is a show about someone who works hard instead of those shows where things just fall down from the sky and they succeed without sweating.

+ What sort of jdorama has Suzuki Anne, Kaho, Kita Kana and Kaname Jun in minor supporting roles?

+ I live all the characters who work in Tsutaya while trying to chase their dreams. 

WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE

- I don't like Kusanagi Tsuyoshi acting as the nonchalant brother.

-  I really dislike all the scenes set in the USA. It feels like the opposite when Western production tries to portray Japan and they end up with a Western idea of how Japanese should act ala Man in High Castle. Lost Man Found is how Japanese imagine Americans to act. Not that I know better but I just find the American scenes and dialogue cringy.

SUMMARY

I love the first half. I love everything set in Japan and wanted more. Then it gave me lots of things set in USA that I didn't want and I could not be bothered finishing. Ah, the first half is so good and the second half lost me. Meh.

Kisetsu no nai Machi / Town without Seasons episodes 1+2

Kisetsu no nai Machi is Kudokan dorama about a small town of survivors after a major incident. The government put everyone in temporary houses and while people have left, many have remained. Our main character is given money to live among the survivors and record everything that goes on in the town to his mysterious emploter. 

It is a colourful town, not too realistic and I would say a bit whimsical but Kisetsu no nai Machi is a story about the characters who live there. The first episode is about a guy who thinks he is a train driver and runs all over town. His mother plays along with his fancy and the townspeople ignore him. I did not not care about the characters but this is Kudokan so let's go to the next episode.

The second episode is about a younger brother whose money was stolen by his older brother and the mother who would forgive the brother for anything. The second the story became clear alarm bells were ringing for me because I knew the sad ending that Kudokan was going for. 

The thing that doesn't work for me is the younger brother is a freaking idiot and no amount of self pity will make me care about the character. Unfortunately, nothing in Kisetsu no nai Machi appeals to me. Not the colourful, not so realistic town and weird characters. 

I like human stories like Shinya Shokudo but Kisetsu no nai Machi is just bland for me. I needed something to ground the stories for me but could not find any reason to go past episode 2. Glad Disney gave Kudokan some money to do a jdorama but meh from me.